What will make me happy? What will make me healthy?
When did you ask yourself these 2 simple questions?
When I ask my clients these questions, they often reply “hmm… I had never thought about it…” I don’t speak often during the sessions, I ask unusual questions and listen to the client’s answers instead.
At this age of psychology each of us know at least basic terms and concepts of psychology. More people than ever before turn to their family and friends asking to recommend a professional in the field. Most clients getting fantastic results and outcome after number of sessions. However there are some clients who expect clear and sound advice on their situation.
Is it reasonable expectation?
It’s not too difficult to guess that most of my colleagues don’t do such thing, they don’t offer clear and sound advice. Definitely I do not. I could anticipate some eyebrows been raised in surprise, asking a question “what do we pay for then?”
Well, when you become my client after number of sessions, you will get something more deeper and more meaningful that just an advice.
For example, the client who was bullied by her boss at work will find courage to change that job to a better one, where new boss is respectful and empowering. In the future the same client will consciously avoid any people who are bullies at workplace, social settings and in private life.
Do you like that? Is it better deal than just giving an advice to “leave this job”?
Another client always wanted but was not ready to change the place of living. She finally realised that all of her fears were coming from other people, their opinions and sincere advices. The client gave herself permission to pursue her dream and move to the city, where she will be happy on many levels. It was not a surprise that all the circumstances aligned in such way to make that move easy and enjoyable. I truly believe when this client has a dream next time, she will achieve it with grace and ease.
The reason I do not give an advice is that my advice is coming from the “planet called Aliona” and it may not be suitable for the “planet called name of my client”. Each of us is living on our own planet similar to The Little Prince character from the novel of Antoine De Saint-Exupery. Only the person who lives on his own planet knows the best what was happening on it and what’s going on at this very moment. Only he knows how he felt and how he acted, what were his thoughts and desires at that time and moment. A psychotherapist doesn’t have capacity to learn everything about the client’s life in a short space of time unless the client is prepared to attend sessions for number of years.
This approach is called person-centred approach. The client is an expert of his life and he owns his planet. My mission as a psychotherapist is to guide the client in exploration of his own planet. We go together to check what had been broken, what is outdated, what is right and wrong.
My client is sitting on the driver’s seat and I am his SatNav.
It’s the journey of learning and exploration. It can be painful, upsetting, unbelievable and shocking. Despite all of that we always arrive at much better place of understanding, acceptance, forgiveness and huge, grand realisations.
It’s magical to see my clients being transformed into better versions of themselves.
Do I have the Magic wand?
Yes, I do. 🙂