How To build good relationships

by Aliona Lebed

How To Build Good Relationships - The Right Steps

Are there ideas, people, activities, bonds and things that weigh you down?

Do you want to get rid of these burdens?

“My husband doesn’t look my way; my boss thinks little of me; my son hates school; my daughter spends entire nights out; my mother called again to lecture me.” Familiar thoughts, aren’t they?

Many think that all their problems are not their fault. However, as practice shows, people do create their own problems simply because they don’t know how to build human relationship-step by step, brick by brick, higher and stronger.

People are in constant contact with one another, even when they live alone.

They get into contact with others- directly or indirectly, speaking on the phone, listening to the radio, reading papers….. Stepping out of his house, one becomes a pedestrian, a buyer, a customer, a client, a colleague or classmate…. These contacts may make one feel very happy or utterly disappointed. The latter cases result from wrong words or deeds.

Would you like to know what is wrong?

One day my five-year old son and I were watching the good old cartoon Cat’s House. Everything was very fine in the beginning: the cat welcomed and treated her guests in her beautiful house. Some left and new arrived. The cat was a very nice hostess and she didn’t grudge a thing for her friends & neighbors. Suddenly, a fire broke out. Everyone tried to put it out but couldn’t save the house. The poor cat and her little kittens had nowhere to sleep.

She went from door to door, asking her friends for shelter, but her yesterday’s “dear guests” turned her down. And so the unfortunate family had to spend the cold night in the open.

My son cried loudly. He was deeply sorry for the poor cat and her little kittens…

Does this allegory mean that “good friends” and neighbors may be heartless and thankless? Not only that. Let’s take a closer look at the human world.

The word “relationship” implies something related from one person to another. It is a two-way road, a coin with two sides, a bipolar magnet, a double-edged blade.

Practically all relationships require mutual actions. You dial the number of an info service and expect information; your child asks you a question and expects your answer; your boss gives you an order and expects your action; your friend does you a favour and counts on your equivalent response. The object of every act is a response. Every act begins and ends with mutuality. If you act like that unfortunate cat, you open your door to many problems.

So how would you prefer to build relationships with others? What rules are you going to follow? The choice is up to you, but don’t forget that the poor cat had chosen her own friends.

 

All the best,

Aliona

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